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    (Sung to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”.)

    Wank, Wank, Wank tea towel,
    Especially for you!

    Wankity, Wankity, Wankity, Wankity,
    Now wipe off the goo.

    The wank towel, shown folded in thirds

    The 100% cotton Wank Towel by Bad Grandma Designs. Way better than a sock, mate.