Recipes N' Shit

Celery Victor: Because vegetables are better when they're beige!

This is an entry from Bad Grandma’s Recipe Hell collection of freaky recipes from yesteryear. Read on to learn how you can get a free Bad Grandma dishtowel if you try making this truly odd recipe.

According to Wikipedia, Celery Victor is a salad created in the 1920s. Celery was a very fashionable food in the Roaring 20s and people couldn’t get enough recipes made with it.

The recipe was created by a chef named – what else – Victor.

The original salad doesn’t sound bad, actually. You briefly sauté celery sticks in broth, then toss the lightly cooked celery in vinaigrette, mix in chopped red peppers, and chill. It still looks vaguely green even.

A real plate of Celery Victor

Photo courtesy Katje Sabin, Chicago, IL, USA - IMG_1095,
CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37444014

But thanks to the food science geniuses at 1971 General Mills Corporation, we don’t need ANY of that shit. In fact, except for the celery, we don’t need fresh food at all.

Keep the mystery in your marriage by having your spouse guess what vegetable this is.

Seriously, WTF.

The key to this recipe is to cut up the celery into "bundles", truss it up with twine, and then boil it for FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES until it is the color of putty.

You then slather it in bottled Italian dressing, and refrigerate, turning the bundles a couple of times like you are marinating a $25 rib eye.

Then, before serving, you decorate the gelatinous disks with strips of bottled pimiento. It’s horrifying, really.

Are you up to the Celery Victor challenge?

Make this thing and win a free dishtowel of your choice

Obviously, this recipe is a lot of work for only 30 calories, especially since you can munch the raw stuff all day with no preparation time needed. Plus FIBER.

But that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?

So if you are brave enough to tackle Celery Victor, Bad Grandma will send you a FREE dishtowel of your choice. (Or, if you wanna track down and make the original Celery Victor recipe, I’ll send you a free towel for that too.)

Just send photos of your creation and your contact info to grandma (at) badgrandmadesigns.com. I will post your pix so everyone can see your kitchen wizardry.

Have fun and I hope you are Victor-ious! Hugs, Bad Grandma

Bad Grandma reserves the right to end this recipe challenge at any time. But I’ll let everyone know before I do 😊.