Recipes N' Shit

For that person who just really fucking loves green beans.

This is an entry into Bad Grandma’s Recipe Hell collection of strange and fun recipes from yesteryear. Read on to learn how you can get a free Bad Grandma dishtowel if you make this recipe for yourself.

Green beans are the star of the show in this recipe, as a topping in an unconventional sandwich. Shit is about to get weird, people.

The creator of this sandwich must have been high. Very high.

Bad Grandma imagines that this recipe starts with a food writer, let’s call her Joyce.

One day in 1970, Joyce gets an assignment from the executives of General Mills: “Make something new with sloppy joes!” (For those of you not alive during the 70s, everybody ate sloppy joes all the time. It was a very sloppy joe-friendly decade.)

That night, Joyce is at home. She’s kicked off her wedgie sandals, is having her second glass of jug wine and – from the looks of the final product – smoking more than one joint. She sits there, thinking: “This sloppy joe needs something special. But what?” Then it hits her. “GODDAMN GREEN BEANS, THAT’S WHAT.”

But where do the green beans go? Mixed in with the meat? No, Joyce is an artist, dammit. She decides the green beans should be a topping. A cheesy, crowning glory topped with a warm slice of tomato.

By now, Joyce is feeling a touch mellow and the creativity is flowing. “And why not put the top bun IN THE MIDDLE?!” she thinks. “It’s genius!”

The rest is history as she creates a meal that is no ordinary sandwich, because Joyce has made a BUNWICH, bitches.

I can feel your rising green bean lust from here

Now you are probably intrigued, but unsure. You may be thinking: “Bad Grandma, hold up. While it’s true that I really do love green beans, I’m not sure if I love them enough to indulge in a sandwich that is this…unnatural.”

But I say to you that you OWE it to yourself to eat Green Bean Bunwiches at least once in your life. In fact, you may never be able to have a sandwich again without longing for the pleasures of green beany goodness.

And if you make them and send me photos, I’ll send you the free Bad Grandma dishtowel of your choice. As always, if you want to alter the recipe some to make it easier or more pleasant for your palate, go right ahead – I’ll still send ya the towel. (Like, maybe they would work as sliders? Rolled up in a tortilla? Topping a hamburger?)

Just send your photos and contact info to grandma (at) badgrandmadesigns.com. I can’t wait to post your green been creations!

Love and legumes,
Bad Grandma

Bad Grandma reserves the right to end this recipe challenge at any time. But I’ll let everyone know before I do 😊.